in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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