Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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