"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
