just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
