That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
