one word: firstdatebathroomanal
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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