Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
