I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
