I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
