Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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