awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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