whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
