did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
