everyone is single if you try hard enough
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I said "one day" and that day is not today
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
