I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize