bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There's even glitter on my cock...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
