Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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