Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
