are you still at the devil's house?
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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