Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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