other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Pants are for mortals
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
