I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
