You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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