so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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