Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
