Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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