you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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