Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I came so hard my ears popped.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
