no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
