garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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