Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
