4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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