in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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