my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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