my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
