are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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