I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
