pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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