I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
