A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I am mentally ready for anal.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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