The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize