Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Be still, my beating vagina.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
