You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
