my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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