Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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