Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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