His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
