No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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