No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We need to rekindle our bromance
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
