We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
