I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
