Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
