you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
