with your own penis?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
