I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
