i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
