Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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