I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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