Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
