we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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