Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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