im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize