i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I love you.
Bad choice
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
