he wants to bone in the snuggie
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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