one two three fourrrrnication!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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