Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
